Taking Care of Yourself After a Break Up
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The emotional pain of a romantic breakup is one of the hardest things to go through. Everyone’s healing journey is different, but no matter the circumstances, it’s likely you’re experiencing a torrent of unpredictable feelings like grief, sadness, shock, anger, disappointment and loneliness.
This pain, combined with the restrictions that have been placed on our lives due to the pandemic, can make it feel even more intense. Time is the biggest healer, but today, we want to share some gentle suggestions to help support you through the healing process.
Give Yourself Space
Try to create space for yourself, by avoiding your ex for a while after your break-up. This means online and in real life. It can be constructive to remove yourself from all connections with them, to give yourself time to cope with the new change.
Once you have adjusted, you can decide if you would like to continue a friendship, but that is often too painful to navigate initially.
Talk to friends
You may feel lonely, but you are not alone. A break-up is nothing to feel ashamed about, so reach out to people who can support you. Call someone you can trust, spend time with people you love – and enjoy a different perspective, as well as the distraction.
Let it all out
It can be tempting to bottle up the heavy emotions that you are feeling, but that isn’t always helpful. Instead, try some of these ideas to support your body in processing them – so that you can move forward.
- Let yourself cry – Watch some sad movies to help you release your sadness. There is no prize for holding in those tears. This can be deeply cathartic.
- Journal your thoughts – let yourself write freely, without editing. You might be surprised at what comes up for you. You could even try writing an angry letter to your ex, for your own purposes only. Instead of sending it to them, why not burn it and let yourself release it that way?
- Rage it out! Play some heavy music, while you bash pillows and let yourself make a lot of noise. Or take a boxing class and let your anger out on the punch bag.
- Clean like crazy! A deep spring clean can work wonders in reclaiming your space as your own with fresh energy. This can help you to feel lighter and brighter!
Look for Happy Moments
Try to find things that make you smile – even for the briefest of moments. It will help you to reawaken neural pathways to remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Actively search for happy moments, and enjoy the break in the clouds.
This can be especially helpful if you are finding yourself with too much free time on your hands. Try to plan ahead and schedule activities that you usually enjoy and can look forward to.
Take Care of Yourself!
It might feel impossible at first, but it’s essential that you look after yourself.
- Try to get enough sleep! This will help you to cope with the stress that you are experiencing.
- Nourish your body with whole and calming foods, such as soothing soups and chamomile tea.
- Staying away from alcohol and drugs is a sensible idea. While you might be tempted to numb the pain this way, the after-effects tend to leave you feeling much worse. And of course, drunk messaging the ex is NEVER a good idea!
- Move your body and enjoy the mood-enhancing boost from the serotonin. Bonus points if you can get out into the fresh air while you do this. You could try jumping on a trampoline, walking, running, swimming or even pole dancing!
Don’t underestimate the power of pleasure. Pleasure can be incredibly grounding and a great way to calm your frazzled nervous system.
- Pamper Yourself
Now is the time to indulge in soothing candlelit bubble baths, with all of your pampering goodies.
- Activate Your Senses
Take time to savour your favourite foods – to remind you that food is delicious and not just functional!
Fragrances from fresh flowers, scented oils and candles can be great to nudge your mind out of the break-up funk.
Curate a playlist of your favourite music chosen specifically for upliftment. Don’t go and re-listen to all of those “our songs,” but rather ones that get your heart pumping, with a happy vibe. Or opt for serene and calming instrumentals.
Receive attentive touch by going for a massage, or to the hairdresser. This can be deeply nurturing on your path to healing.
- Sexual Healing
Tap into your sexuality to support you in processing the post-break-up emotions. This can be the perfect time to commit to a loving self-pleasure practice, so why not treat yourself to a new sex toy and some lube to enhance your explorations.
You’ve Got This
Experiencing a romantic break-up is one of the toughest experiences that we may face as humans, but there are simple steps you can take to help you to process the emotional pain.
There may be times when it all feels too much, but remember, you are not alone. Give yourself space to grieve and when you are able, turn to one of these suggestions to help guide you to lighter feelings. It will get easier. You’ve got this.