How to Tackle Uncomfortable Conversations in the Bedroom: Part 3
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If you’re like most people, you probably HATE having uncomfortable conversations — especially about sex.
Not only can these conversations be hella awkward, but they also often leave us feeling exposed and even self-conscious about certain things.
But the thing is, awkward conversations about sex will have to happen if you want to have more fun and experience better orgasms in the bedroom.
Today is the third in a series of three blog posts designed to help you overcome awkwardness about sex talk! Head over to part two if you haven’t read it yet.
In part three, we’ll look at five awkward scenarios that might have you falling silent and how you can approach each of them so you can finally stop feeling nervous and instead enjoy every sweaty, sexy, and pleasure-inducing second of super-hot sex.
What you’ll find in this article:
1. Safe sex
Talking about safe sex can be uncomfortable — but highly necessary.
Remember that requesting to have safe sex is nothing to be ashamed of. On the contrary, it’s definitely recommended if you haven’t known your partner for a long time.
As such, you need to be confident with what you want and say it. Be firm in what matters to you and your body. Chances are that your partner won’t mind at all since they also want to protect their body against infections and unplanned pregnancy.
At the end of the day, if they’re unwilling to have safe sex with a condom, they’re not the person you want in your bed.
Here are some valuable tips for safer hookups.
Pro tip: Make sex with a condom far more pleasurable using our Love, Lust, & Lube Collection.
2. Consent
Consent is non-negotiable when it comes to sex and bedroom play.
It means looking for the presence of a “yes” rather than the absence of a “no” and should always be clearly and freely communicated.
Whether you and your partner have been together for ten years or a few weeks, you must make it clear to them that consent should be given at all times.
If you don’t want to do something, say “no” and encourage them to do the same. Don’t beat around the bush and answer with an “uhmmmm”, “ah”, or “err”. Rather just come right out and say “no”. This will lead to a lot less confusion and will also make your limits clear to your partner.
With that said, it can be very difficult to use the word ‘no’ when refusing things – even outside of the bedroom! So if that sounds like you, perhaps try the traffic light feedback system. It can feel easier to use the words green to mean great, amber for let’s check-in and red to mean stop all play.
3. STIs
Sexual Transmitted Infections (STIs), including gonorrhoea, syphilis, trichomoniasis, and others, can easily pass between two people. As such, you must tell your partner if you have any of these infections — before heading to the bedroom.
In this situation, it’s best to be direct and come right out and say it: “Before we have sex, I’d like to talk about STIs and protection because I have an STI”. You don’t have to tell them the entire story of how you got the infection, but by being open about it, they’ll know that you’re willing to talk and answer their questions — which is excellent for building trust.
If you don’t want to be direct and would rather approach the conversation differently, a good approach would be to place yourself in your partner’s shoes. If they were the ones with the infection, how would you want them to break the news to you?
4. Trauma
Past trauma can have a massive impact on your sex life. Not only can it cause nervousness and anticipation, but it can also prevent you from enjoying sex and having orgasms.
By opening up to your partner about your trauma, they’ll be prepared and handle the situation with care. They’ll know that your reactions aren’t always a result of their actions. For example, if you flinch or ask them to stop during sex, they’ll know that it isn’t something that they did wrong, and, as such, you won’t end up unintentionally hurting their feelings.
Instead, both of you will feel more comfortable talking about your feelings throughout — which will ultimately lead to a far more fulfilling and enjoyable experience.
If you cannot have orgasms with your partner due to the trauma, you can always try to move past it by using self-love tools in front of each other — and in so doing, breaking the trust barrier.
5. Non-monogamy
If you’ve done some self-reflection and realised that you want to explore polyamory, you’ve got to be honest with your partner before even considering approaching a third party.
Your best bet would be to ask exploratory questions first to get a sense if it’s something that your partner would want. At the same time, you’ll also need to get clear on exactly what you want before asking your partner if they’re open to the idea.
Do you want an open relationship? Third-party? Etc.
Once you know what you want, you can ask your partner if they’d be interested in the suggestion and if they have any suggestions or conditions.
Final thoughts
Conversations about sex are bound to happen at some point in your relationship. By approaching each conversation with care and consideration, communication between you and your partner will improve — consequently, you’ll trust each other more.
As a result, each conversation will get easier, and you’ll finally have the freedom to communicate all your concerns and desires — and end up having a far more fulfilling sex life.
We hope this was helpful!
PS Remember to share it with someone who may find it equally valuable.
Intimate Touch does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any and all information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice. It is not recommended that any action be taken before consulting with a healthcare professional.
Author : Lisa Welsh
About our guest writer: Lisa is a Pleasure Pixie and Sex Educator who loves helping people to unlock their full orgasmic nature.
You can find out more about Lisa at: https://inbedwithlisa.com/
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